Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Young Hollywood...


I have a question for all you 20-30 somethings out there: Does "Young Hollywood" make anybody else feel extremely unsuccessful? Sure they all have loads of problems ect. blah blah blah, but guess what? I have problems to, and so do you. The only difference is we make maybe a couple thousand dollars a year (maybe) and Miley Cyrus (who is 15 might I add) is worth $18.2 million US dollars.

I have four words to say to that: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? When I was fifteen I never had more than 30 dollars to my name and I thought I was high rolling. What would a fifteen year old even do with $18.2 million dollars? When I saw that fact I thought to myself "If I was fifteen and had that much money what would I do with it?" So here is my list:

  1. Pay off all of my teachers so I would get A's in all my classes, even P.E.
  2. Speaking of PE, pay the school to put my Jr. High PE teacher in the stocks in the middle of the school so he could feel what public humiliation was like on the receiving end.
  3. Hire a group of people to caravan me (like they do in stereotyped situations of India) back and forth or wherever I fancy.
  4. Set aside a small amount of cash (only about 1.5 mil) for vending machine purposes.
  5. Buy a parrot and have it trained by a parrot whisperer to speak to me and only me.
  6. Officially change our school mascot (the falcons) to the Canyon View Meerkats.
  7. Give a lot of money to the theater dept. so our theater/sets would be awesome. As long as I was assured a major spot in anything that happened in the auditorium. Yes that includes assemblies and band concerts. A small throne on the side of the stage would do, as long as everyone rose when I entered/exited.
  8. Even though all the shirts look the same, buy every shirt Abercrombie & Fitch has ever made and have all the others destroyed. *note, this is me in eighth grade not now. Sorry Abercrombie, not really a fan anymore
  9. Have all classes that I don't appreciate, ie: PE, Math, Wood shop, basically anything but lunch and art, permanently removed, leaving the empty classrooms open for the animals.
  10. Make all the empty class rooms into animal enclosures for my viewing pleasure.
So that is basically all I would do. And all that probably would only cost like 3 mil at the most! So that would leave me like....um...12 mil? Maybe outlawing Math wouldn't have made such a difference, obviously it didn't help.

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