Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Smart?



Lately at work, as I walk the thousand miles through the parking lot from my car to the cast building, I have been noticing a weird trend. In the past week, I have seen four "Smart Cars" sitting in parking spaces.

First of all...It is my understanding that theses little creatures cost a whole lotta moola. Like on the CEO level not the "I work at a theme park" level. Which is the first reason I was confused to be running into so many of them in the lot at the Hollywood studios.

Secondly, I understand that they are tiny so they take up less gas/parking space ect. I get that. But how safe can it be? I mean really. They are so wittle. What happens when you get into a tussle with a Hummer? It can't be pretty. It just doesn't seem logical to me! I don't even think I could fit in one! If you know me personally you know I am a pretty big guy, but even the average person might have problems getting into one of these babies. I took a picture next to one so you can see the comparison:
















After looking at this picture I dunno if you get the full extent of how little these cars are. So I made a chart comparing the smart car to every day objects:



























As you can see the smart car has no chance against Godzilla. It is about the size of his back toe thing. As far as King Kong goes, well it might fair a little better but still lets be real, it's King Kong and you are driving a match box car. Now I know this is a little far fetched because Godzilla only attacks like once every ten years but still. Look what happened to all the smart cars last time he did...














*note: I actually think this is a picture from an earthquake in San Fransisco but you get the gist.

Disney 365 Bry Edition...


So this post is nothing but straight up egotism and pride. Just so you know. Anywho as you may have heard, I do this parade everyday called Block Party Bash (The Trail Of Tears). It is new to the Hollywood studios so a couple months ago the Disney Channel came to do a little segment called "Disney 365". It is a little commercial spot that airs on the Disney Channel and lets people know of what is going on in the Disney company.

Well Brenda Song (Suite Life of Zac & Cody) came with one of the reporters and watched the parade while they filmed it. Basically, I was dancing with them and now I am on TV. Huzzah! So I got the video of it and it is now here for your viewing pleasure.


Disney 365




*note: You can see me for like two seconds at 35 seconds and also near the end at 1.22


Friday, August 22, 2008

Gypsy Dinner! Part deux

Last night we had our second annual monthly Gypsy Dinner. You may be familiar with our organization from a previous post.

We went to Tu Tu Tangos, the most amazing restaurant ever to grace my tongue's presence. It is so artsy and cool and I love every second of it.

Anywho out side in the foyer there is a photo booth and, after we were kicked out of the restaurant, we got a little snap happy. Ten bucks later we have a series of pieces I like to call "The Gypsies Tango"




































































I Love Watching People Fail...


Today I stumbled upon a little gem of a blog called failblog.org. It is amazing. I was just browsing and didn't mean to stay on it for longer than a couple minutes. What came afterwards was 30 minutes of extreme lol'ing. I bask in the glory of other people's stupidity.

Basically it is a site dedicated to showcasing how stupid people in the world really are. A little disheartening? Yes. But still amazing. Check it out. The picture above is one of my favorites!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Quote of the Day...


Today, as I was at the doctor, I was (once again) reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. I love that book so much. Every time I read it I feel so calm and centered. It is really nice and I recommend it to everyone.

Today's quote of the day is from a passage that I have read several times but today one quote jumped out at me. It seems so relevant to my life at the moment. It is a sentence that he (the author) realized in a moment of presence. I find it so relevant and I love it.

"Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be."
- Eckhart Tolle

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

lntervention...


I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this. But Joshua M. Franks I am CALLING YOU OUT!

Now first of all we all love you very very much but we are concerned

Everyday I eagerly log onto the internet and retrieve your blog in the hopes of being fulfilled both spiritually and emotionally.

But lately what happens?

DISAPPOINTMENT!

It has been months since you have written and it needs to change.

Please start writing again...

For all of us!

What will I do if you don't you ask? Well lets just say you will never see this little baby again now will you:

















Da Da DAAAAAA! How diabolical you say? I know right? Now complete my demands or you'll never see your precious ID again!


P.S. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.

*note: I blurred out his perner, seniority date, changed the color, pixilated his face and changed the bar code so none of you sneeky snakes out there can steal his identity. So don't even bother it won't work. HA! Always one step a head.

click here for J Fray's fantastic (and neglected) blog

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Fay Fay Upday...


So Hurricane Fay (Or as we call her The Fray, Fanny, Francis, Hilary Fay, Basically anything but Fay) is still a comin'. The Keys were screwed over yesterday and most of southern Florida is underneath her right now. To the left is what the radar looks like right now. Basically we are just waiting for her to get here. I say BRING IT ON!


Oh and just a side note look how encouraging the hour by hour forecast is for today!


*note: I didn't know what "Squalls" were so I looked it up in the dictionary and it said:
squall
(skw├┤l)
n. A loud, harsh cry. intr.v. squalled, squall·ing, squalls To scream or cry loudly and harshly. [Probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse skvala, to squeal.]

I dunno if thats what they mean but if it's true and I going to go buy earplugs asap.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Fay Fay comes to Play....Play...


If you pay attention to the national weather news at all you may have noticed a little Hurricane named Fay is making her merry way towards the Florida mainland. I have lived here for 2 years and never have I been through a hurricane. I am kinda nervous I won't lie. However, it is only supposed to be a category two at the most which isn't that bad (according to everyone else. But a category two is worse than the category nothings we have in Utah).

Anywho. Disney World doesn't play when it comes to hurricanes. You better believe that the parks are in full on lock down mode. Lets just say windows are being boarded up and bushes are being secured. They might have to close early/open late depending on how bad that storm is. I am gathering that it is gonna be bad because my weather bug won't shut the hell up. chirp chirp chirp I get it, death and destruction is looming shut it!

Back to work. If they do close the parks it is our responsibility to call this number and ask if we have to come to work or not. Well they printed a bunch of these fliers and posted them around the break rooms with the number we are supposed to call. In our break room at High School someone ...(Dusty. Who is absolutely terrified of hurricanes and is literally camping in our living room "till this bitch is gone") took the liberty of illustrating the paper. Just so we could get an idea of what it will be like when Fay gives us a visit:















As you can see our float along with a cheerleader is being sucked up into a twister and the eye of the storm is actually a wildcat paw. Who knew?

Monday, August 11, 2008

¡Viva Pinata!


First things first, isn't this the scariest pinata you've ever seen?! Anywho.

So I recently bought a pinata at Target for a party we are going to have soon. Who doesn't love a good pinata? I know I do.

Anywho as I was stabbing the back of his neck (he's a pirate, I named him patchy) and filling him with candy I noticed the tag that came with him. It is full of warnings that I found to be pretty ridiculous/hilarious. I scanned the tag so you could see it. But I will list some of my favorites first:
  • First of all the company is called "Party Like Crazy". You can't go wrong with a name like that.
  • Under the "safety tips" section it says that when hitting the pinata that one is only to use an official pinata wacker (whatever that is) and never to use broom handles or wooden sticks. Now I have seen a lot of pinatas in my life and never once have I seen an official pinata "wacker". Broom handles are the way to go.
  • It also says to gently put down the official "wacker" before rushing into to get the candy. There is no stopping little kids (or drunk adults) when there is free candy on the ground.
  • Keep away from open flames. I haven't the faintest idea why but thats what it says
The back of the tab goes on to explain to anyone living under a rock how to play with the mysterious and complicated pinata. Here is the tag so you know I'm not making this stuff up:








































On the same theme I tried to find this AWESOME commercial of this pinata attacking this kid. It was so funny. But alas I can't find it. Maybe it was deemed "inappropriate". In any case it's not there but I have a consolation prize that is pretty funny too.

Cyanide & Happiness...


I dunno about you but every morning I have a routine I go through on the internet. I cannot start my day correctly unless I first complete the following tasks:

  1. Check my Myspace, usually sending me into a deep depression because no one writes me.
  2. Check my Facebook hoping that it will make me feel better, and usually it doesn't. Curse you online communities!
  3. Check my Gmail account. At least JoAnne's craft store loves me enough to send me their latest promotions.
  4. Check the temperature and weather for the day to see if I am actually going to have to work that day. No Sun = No High School Musical.
  5. Then I Check my blog and see if any of my favorite blogs have updated themselves.
  6. And finally I check a website called Explosm.net full of hilarious comics called Cyanide & Happiness.
I usually save this website for last because no matter how empty/depressing my other accounts are, this website is always there to cheer me up. They update daily and hit my sense of humor right on target. I love them and I recommend it to everyone. I'd like to share a few of my favorites with you.

*note: you may have to click on them to make them bigger so you can read them. Stop complaining I can't do all the work.



























LVD: Evie is a THIEF!

This is a video from the other night. Now I am not gonna try to deceive you like the government or the Survivor producers do, I'm gonna tell you straight up this is a reenactment. It did and does happen on a continuous basis however, but the second the camera turns on, little miss Evie decides she doesn't wanna perform. But after some gentle persuasion, she cooperated. So here it is. A lesson that you cannot eat and play with the dog at the same time.

*note: I realize that this isn't that funny but it's all I got. Beggers can't be complainers or however that saying goes.


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Quote of the Day


I used to blog in my myspace blog a lot but I then I got tired of how concrete it requires you to be. It was constricting my artistic spirit! Jk...but seriously I hate it.

Anywho the other day I was contemplating erasing it cause it is pointless space that is being used and it messes up the look of my profile. So I started looking at the blogs to see if there was anything desirable to keep. I found a quote from the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It is kind of an obscure movie but it is really good. Anyway I identify with this quote for some reason so I thought I would share it with you as the quote of the day.

"It is clear that I must find my other half, but is it a he, or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did this person get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forcibly or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one… again?"

Extreme Makeover Evie Edition

The Extreme Makeover team finally got a hold of Evie and she finally got a haircut! She is no longer a mangy beast!

Before:



















After!
















* I kept that gay bow in her hair for effect. It was removed immediately afterwards.

Roommate time...

The other night my room mate Sarah and I went on an expedition to the grocery store and it turned into a lesson in life and smoking. Here are the pictures:

Here is us...in all of our awesomeness...















Photoshoot: Not the best idea when driving.















Sarah killing her lungs...



















I just wanna be popular....















Oh my god the burning! This is just like those PSA's from Jr. High!
















Finally we got what we were looking for...Party Time Ice Cream!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Quote of the Day...


I haven't done a quote of the day for a while and that needs to change. I saw a quote on the Facebook of a friend of mine that I really liked. It is just a little cliche but I loved it. Here it is:

"Do what makes u happy, be with who makes u smile, laugh as much as u breathe, and love as long as u live"

I think it is funny that we over complicate things that don't need to be complicated, like love, but on the other hand we simplify things that are so deep and complex like people in our lives. I think too often we don't realize how much thought and history goes into everything that everyone does. We may think we know why someone does something but most of the time it is rooted so much deeper.

p.s. I typed the word "joy" into my photo website and I liked the picture above. So there you have it.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Ode To Divorce...

I have had the last two days off and I have been feeling extremely stuffed up. So I thought I should probably paint to get my emotions out. I was listening to my favorite song of all time "Ode To Divorce" by Regina Spektor and I painted a painting I want to share with all of you. Lemme know what you think (even though I don't really care cause it's done).



You can click on it to see the bigger version. If you wanna know what it means download "Ode To Divorce" by Regina Spektor. Oh hell I will just post the lyrics:

Ode To Divorce

The food that I'm eating
Is suddenly tasteless
I know I'm alone now
I know what it tastes like
So break me to small parts
Let go in small doses
But spare some for spare parts
There might be some good ones
Like you might make a dollar
I'm inside your mouth now
Behind your tonsils
Peeking over your molars
You're talking to her now
And you've eaten something minty
And you're making that face that I like
And you're going in, in for the kill, kill
For the killer kiss, kiss for the kiss, kiss

I need your money, it'll help me
I need your car and I need your love [x2]
So won't you help a brother out?
Won't you help a brother out?
Won't you help a brother out, out, out, out, out?

So break me to small parts
Let go in small doses
But spare some for spare parts
You might make a dollar
Dollar, might make a dollar

So won't you help a brother out?
Won't you help a brother out?
Won't you help a brother out, out, out, out, out?

So break me to small parts
Let go in small doses
But spare some for spare parts
There might be some good ones
You might make a dollar
(There might be some good ones)
There might be some good ones
(You might make a dollar)
You might make a dollar
(There might be some good ones)
There might be some good ones

Friday, August 1, 2008

What Time is it?

As I said in a previous post our show is closing and we are getting another one. So I decided to find one of those cheesy countdown clocks to when our third show opens. I particularly love the picture that goes with it.


Countdown Clocks at WishAFriend.com

LVD: Tree

Yesterday myself along with two very good friends of mine found this tree that is essentially a giant rose bush. It has huge thorns, flowers, and woodland creatures. Enjoy

Pretty Blog...


Yes that picture is me, impressive I know, stop asking.

Anywho

Lately I have had a lot of free time and, with said time, I have been unproductive and surfing the web looking at other people's blogs. I came to the conclusion that my blog is a novice in comparison the the works of art that some people put out there. So I opened a new tan in Firefox and I searched "Blog Additions".

I came across a lot of cool stuff that will be coming to a blog near you. I also, however, found some pretty ridiculous stuff out there as well. So I decided to share some of the graphics that are out there for your blogging fancy:

1: The Twilight Button



Ok I like Twilight as much as the next guy but really? How do you think your husband feels? If I had a wife I would want her heart andher neck.


2: How to gain weight:



Ok this one doesn't even make sense to me. Sit long? Huh?

3: Awkward



This one is just embarrassing. I told her it's over. Stop making blog accessories about me.

4: What's taking so long?



This one is my favorite. Tell that baby to hurry it up.