Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Breaking Dawn is Breaking My Spirit...

Lets just begin with I'm sorry...again.

I keep apologizing for not writing and promising that the lack in postage will end but then


But I'm back I promise. I haven't given up on blogging. I love it things have just been cray cray around here lately. Anywho.

So I, along with many others, am in love with Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series. If you haven't read them seriously, just give in and do it. I know you are trying to be a rebel and challenge the status quo and everything. I get it. Just vote democratic and chain yourself against a rain forest that is being demolished or something. It is just a book. It's popular for a reason.

Sorry. Anywho. If you are disinclined to read the Twilight series in anyway, stop reading now.

So I read Twilight and I was hooked. The writing is on point, the story is adicting and I am in love with the characters. Then I moved onto New Moon. It was good, I got over the fact that Edward was gone, I hated Jacob, he's a douche, but it was good. Eclipse began and it was pretty good. The love was there still, I now hated Bella AND Jacob but Edward was still around so I accepted it. I was pissed off by the tent scene. But still good.


Breaking Dawn. I am poor right. I work at Disney, it is no cash cow for us movers. We've gone over this. Well my roommate bought the book and I said that I would read it after he was done. He read it speedily and passed it onto me.

I opened this book and after two chapters I wanted to kill myself (* note: not literally, just a figure of speech). Not because the story was bad. It is so amazing so far. I'm addicted. All my favorite (and least favorite *cough* jacob *cough*) characters are still around. The problem is this:

Lets be honest kids, my love life isn't the most amazing thing on the planet. Lets be frank, it sucks. My biggest fear in my life is that after everything, I will end up the odd one out; everyone around me coupling up to leave me alone. TMI? Well there you have it. Anywho. every time I try and explain this to someone I get the same responses:

"You are only 20, why are you worrying about it?"
"Why don't you just enjoy being single?"
"You aren't gonna end up alone, I will be your friend forever."

Then I say in response:

"I may only be 20 but before I know it, I will only be 30, then only be 40." Time flies, and you can't refute that argument.
"What is the point of enjoying myself making amazing memories if I have no one to share them with?" Honestly.
"I love you too, and I am so glad that we are friends but in the end, if it came down to me or the person that you want to be with the rest of your life, I am gonna be the second choice."

So this is what I think about probably 65% of the time, no joke. I really worry about it for some reason. So onto my point. Breaking Dawn starts of with the most amazing wedding every written down on paper. The love that these characters have for each other kills me because that is exactly what I want in life. So reading this amazing book has been basically depressing me like crazy lately. Like the book is saying "Haha this is what you want to have but can't find. Haha you suck!"

But I am so torn about it because it is SO amazing and I am so invested! But it is SOOOO DEPRESSING! Is that weird? Please let me know if ANYONE feels the same way.


Miranda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miranda said...

Bry, it hurts me so much to read this. I stopped reading the Twilight books because I believe they do create unrealistic expectations for people. I decided it wasn't healthy for me. It's perfectly fine if you can deal with it - it's just not for me. A lot of books do this, along with a lot of disney films (;))- these just happen to be really enticing stories so many, many people are having the same reaction. There is a book called Austenland, where the heroine is so in love with the Austen type of man she can't settle for a real one. But in the end, she realizes what is fantasy and what is real, and decides she wants the real. Jane Austen, in fact, wrote such lovely stories because her own life was full of pain and it is how she worked things out in her mind. We have to read those books understanding what they are - fantasy, just like star wars or something. NO ONE has this kind of relationship in real life. I'll look forward to talking with you more about this, cause I DO understand and I DO feel the same way!

Matthew Hughes said...

Well, I don't read Twilight, but can understand how you feel.

Keep that head up, Bry... at least that's what I am always trying to tell myself. =)

Oh, and it's not weird to keep reading. Books are supposed to make you feel like that - that's why people write! I don't really read all that much, but do know to not to get caught up in them. Just enjoy them for what they are and don't take any of it too personally - that way, you can still get something out of the story.

Miranda said...

Bry, I thought of something that seems important to add to what I'm trying to say. When I meet someone someday with whom I might start thinking about love and marriage, I don't want to pressure him with my unrealistic expectations, and I don't want him to have expectations of me that I cannot possibly meet. I want everyone's eyes to be fully open and for us to accept and love each other for who we are, not hope we will be something we can't possibly be. It goes both ways! And while there is nothing wrong at all with reading books like that, we have to recognize what's true and what's not. I hope this helps even just a little and sorry for being so wordy! This has been on my mind, too, so I have a lot to say!

Katie said...

Wow, Bry. I definitely understand what you're saying. I just bought the book and i'm on page 219. I'll most likely be done with it by the end of the day or tomorrow. Anywho, I love reading books like these because they create such vivid images in our heads and make us believe that anything is possible. But, if it were possible, and really gorgeous Vampires walked the earth and fell in love with regular Joe-Shmo's, then this book would be in the "Non-Fiction" section instead of the "Fantasy" section. I quote the Blues Brothers when I say, "Everybody, needs somebody. Everybody, needs somebody to love." But from living with you for a year, i'm telling you now you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. Remember, there's BILLIONS of people in the world, and there's someone out there for you. You're smart, a great writer, a wonderful artist, a funny guy and a great friend. You know what you want in life, and as long as you love yourself, you'll be able to extend that love to someone else, get your fairy tale and live happily ever after :-D

Anonymous said...

I started reading the series today, actually.

...Because of you.